Sunday, 29 April 2012

I Write What I Like

DEADLOCK. Trying to write an Art Discourse essay will bring you here and no further. 

Watch as art kids fall to pieces. 

It's going to be okay guys. Still love everybody. This will help. Avril ALWAYS helps.

MWAHZLES. I know you hate me right now, but as Leila said...

UPDATE! Just incase you art students get confused about what is art and what is not art -

We miss Ané

Ané's gone to Mossel Bay leaving Fabi and Jana and funless in hell. We miss her. Bitches are feeling broken-hearted. We wish she would come back and be happy in our faces.  THANKS 

This is Ané being cute in EVOL. Love the shades sexy lady. 

This is not Ané but an equally blogable child we found on the internet and pretty sure I have seen her in EVOL too. Maybe not. 

Going to play this song until Ané returns. Should speed up the process. Babe loves a bit (A LOT) of Lana Del Rey. 

crazy white williams bitches (on ice)

To be good at life we join forces and get addicted to blogging and hot people. The combination turns into a hysterical mess in real life but is beautifully compatible in spirit.

We love everybody.

Virtual reality babes

Sometimes (read: most of the time), reality is just too overwhelming. It's at times like these that we look to out favourite non-real friends for guidance and solace. They don't change or say mean things about us behind our backs. They stay the same, day in day out and we salute them for that. So without further adieu meet our favourite fake (but more real than anyone) babes.

S1m0ne from the 2002 science-fiction comedy (yes that's a genre bitches) is a computer generated babe who plays the lead actress in a movie. She even ends up winning two Academy Awards for Best Actress.

Eve, played by Tyra Banks from the movie Life-Size is an absolute plastic fantastic babe. Eve is a doll owed by Linday Lohan's character, Casey, and she comes to life when Casey tries to bring her mother back to life (dark I know). Casey tries her best to turn Eve back into a doll but it proves difficult. Virtual babes love a bit of real life action. It's basically the best movie ever and it's on Youtube so get cracking!

Watch the movie!

Valeria Lukyanov is a Ukrainian babe who has recently taken over the internet with her alien-like physique. She is known as the Living Barbie Doll and has over 11000 photos of herself on an Ukrainian social network. Check it out. She also has a Facebook page. It is unsure if she has achieved this look through plastic surgery or Photoshop (which we discovered yesterday remember!!!), but we think it's a bit of both. She is basically the most interesting person in the world right now. Whatever she is we can't stop looking at her.

Here's a video of her talking about how she is from outer space and wants to survive off solar energy. WE LOVE HER.

Another of our favourite virtual friends are the blue lady, addressed as "The Diva" from the movie Fifth Element. Her real name is Plavalaguna and she has the voice of a nightingale, her performance will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. When she dies at the end of song it is one of the most tragic moments in cinematic history. Right up there with Mufasa's murder. She is so ethereal, a virtual gem.

This scene will make you cry/die.

Barbie has also appeared in gazillions of Barbie films including Barbie of Swan Lake, Barbie in the Nutcracker, Barbie: Mermaidia, and Barbie: Fairytopia to name a few. She's just so popular and she can do anything, be anyone. BARBIE WE HEART YOU.

Alis Pelleschi is our favourite real virtual babe. She's a bitchin photographer from London and did a series called 3D SLUT 4EVA. She is virtual heaven and also Jana's pen pal.  To check out her whole series click here. We're sure you'll fall in love with her. How can you not!?

We have more virtual babe friends, but that's all we have time for for now seeing as we have essays to write on some of our other favourite babes (Jane Alexander WOO). Just remember virtual babes can be trusted and will never let you down. Over and out.


Saturday, 28 April 2012


Today Fabi was hating/loving life, as seen below:

(Also, why do you hate life so much?)

Friday, 27 April 2012

Brian vomited (he's a hippie)

Have you guys heard of Photoshop? It's this super cool thing that let's you edit photos like magic! Don't know where it came from but maybe Fabi's cousin invented it?!? Well anyways he showed it to Fabi and Jana in Beleza which is their new home. Bitches are plugging out lamps and plugging laptops in. Getting involved basically. Back to Photoshop - it's fucking amazing and you can change how photos look. AND IT LOOKS REAL. Photoshop = Magic. Magic = god. Leonard Miller = god.

Here he is in the sky. Fabi and Jana look a photo of her cousin and he edited it on Photoshop using his mad skillzz. Holla inventor of Photoshop in the sky!!! Also don't you just love the quality of this photo? IT'S ACE.

Since Photoshop and Photobooth are cousins (Like Fabs and Leonard) we are now seriosly wondering if he invented Photobooth too? It's clearly probable. Here's the Leonard Miller website. Go see photos of buildings, birds and some chicks. Basically poultry.

Jana asked Leonard if he ever goes by the name Leo, like DiCaprio, and he had this to say

"Lately I've  been going for Len, but that's been going for like 2 weeks now." Cause lately and now are obviously the same thing. DUH.

So briefly interviewed "Len" about his views on Photoshop. Here's the interview.

Jana: Is Photoshop magic?
"Len": No, it's just like um...magic.

"Len" also has world views like this one "Chinese people are the worst. After Whites". Oh Len you gem.  ALSO he DJed in china and says "It's just so nice to play your own music to Chinese people".
Here is a picture Lenny took of Chinese people:

We just  are just so in love with love it's preposterous. Fabi is very serious about love and didn't want the next picture included to be "too corny".  So here's the serious vibe that we are just digging. LANK.  STOKE.

Fabi and Jana got so bored the other day they decided to make some art. Why not hey? So out came Isa's dad's camera and they look super arty portraits of each other.

Fabi saved these super cool photos in a folder called "Jana thanks" which is remarkably similar to  Thanks, India, Bateleur's hit single. Check it out HERE. Ane is not included in out arty portraits because and Ane is in Mossel Bay, mostly because it rhymes with her name. I mean who goes to places that doesn't rhyme with their name?


Fabi made more art because she just loves that shit. Check out her latest offering below, titled "Dead Girl marries Coral Reef". It's banging.

Fabi has always been a pathological lyar as can be seen below:

The Williams are really into LOVE at the moment. It's so haute right now. We just love everything and everybody. Everyone should listen to this Lucky Dube song , Together As One, and feel. Also, and this is very relevant, Fabi's dad disagrees with our love of Photoshop and thinks that Lucky Dube is way better than Photoshop.

Thursday, 26 April 2012


Once upon a time before we were all famous, serious ( YES SERIUS) bloggers, we were young and we attended Matric dances just like you. The Williams thought it would be sweet to brighten up your day (although this thunder is quite nice) with nostalgia. Back when Ané lived in Afrikaansland (Worcester ovs), Fabi was a classy-fresh-faced-fur-throw-wearing lass and Jana thought she could be multi-cultural by mixing Indian prints, a bindi and a beehive (she couldn't!). Enjoy babes. 

Look at that koeksister loving face.

Ané's always been happy. And drunk. 

Classy as fuck. Green eyes with kohl detail to make them POP (STYLE TIP ALERT!)

Here fabi is sitting casually on her balcony. Why is she wearing a male coat I hear you ask. It was her date's ;)

White liberal mess. MORE IS MORE. 

Matching accessories. Pink ribbon in hair, pink shoes, pink hoops, pink nail polish, pink lipstick and pink bracelets. VIBE. 

Maybe we should host a party where everyone wears their matric dance outfits. Could be sucha rave!

Love you guys, mean it!