Friday, 1 March 2013

#IRKD

Cape Town's second International R. Kelly Day/the most important day of the year is coming up.
For details, click HERE, or put the gun down.
We had an interview with R. Kelly's personal spokesperson, trainer, dietitian, make-up artist and head engineer, Geoff to find out why there is a day dedicated to this man, and not to Tyler Smith.

So, here are 20 reasons why:

1. He is the KING of RnB.



2. He's almost as ridiculous as we are. He's just another human being, just more so.

3. He makes people Happy People.

4.



5. He breeds a stargazing youth, for real:


6. He is from South Africa, like us!

7. Joseph Gordon-Levitt did a cover of Ignition, listen HERE.


8.
9. He believes he can fly.

10. 
R. Kelly loves McDonald's. He really, really, really loves McDonald's. It seems like McDonald's is a part of nearly every big moment of his life. Whenever he's in his studio writing songs for artists and the negotiations begin to go sour, he leaves and goes to McDonald's. When each of his three kids were born, he avoided the operating room and instead found solace in McDonald's (a nice one, though, he's eager to point out). And after he was found not guilty of all counts from The Trial, guess where he went first? Yep, McDonald's.

This, however, is his best McDonald's story by a longshot, from when he toured with Jay-Z in 2004, amid problems with the tour--especially the lighting during his performances:

"The lighting got worse. I did everything I could, even simplifying the lighting cues for my show so that I could at least have the bare minimum of lighting effects that I wanted, but even that didn't fix the situation. At one point, I became so frustrated that I left the stage during a show in St. Louis and went to the place that gives me comfort in times of trouble--McDonald's. But this time, I didn't go to eat. Instead I asked the guy working the drive-thru window if I could borrow his cap and uniform, and for the next three hours, I served Big Macs, fries, and Cokes to customers."


11. This is how IRKD makes people feel:

video


12. Even when he's sad, he's ballin'


13. He had sex with a girl called Chance:

"We were falling deeper in love and learning about each others' bodies. Soon I thought I knew all there was to know--except, to my surprise, I didn't. One day at my mom's house, we were making love in my room when I happened to look down and saw blood. I pulled out and saw that I was covered in blood. I panicked and started crying. What the hell was going on? I asked Chance if she was bleeding too and she said "Yeah." She tried to explain something but I ran outta the room and went straight to my sister, Theresa.
"What happened?" I demanded.
"You ain't bleeding," said Sis. "She is. She's having her period."
Theresa explained how the monthly cycle works.
I understood, but I also didn't want to go back there. The blood was too much for me. It freaked me out. When it came to sex, I swore I was done, and I was. I didn't have sex with another girl for three or four years."

14. 


15. Fabi asked her dad what he thinks of R. Kelly:

Jy weet mos ek is 'n fan. Fantastiese stem, wonderlike vertolking van ongelooflike scmaltz. Chicago urban yacht on the lake. Baie af. Love it. So sentimenteel.



16.


17. He doesn't put up with shit.


18. This is "R. Kelly emotional" according to Google:












(^^ CAN YOU ARGUE WITH THIS??)

19.

20. TRAPPED IN THE FUCKING CLOSET: The best artwork ever made


It will be quite sad if you miss this...


Also,

IF you go to this party,
there IS the potential to kiss someone: