WRESTLEMANIA/Nic's eyes

Here at The Williams we don't condone violence but who are we to argue with Aaron Peters, Matt Hichens and Nic van Reenen (from hereon known as SEXY EYES) when they want to throw a party called WRESTLEMANIA?

But wait before we get to that party, let's see how our lives are doing right now. 

So what are The Williams up to right now!? Bet you are all wondering since we are so bloody important. (AGAIN: DISCLAIMER!!!!) 

1) JANA HAS A MASSIVE FUCKING BRUISE ON HER ASS from falling off a crate while pretending to DJ with Nicci from City Kids Sting at YOH! on Saturday. Very embarrassanté. She showed her dad and he just laughed. Oh parents why hast thou forsaken us?

2) Ané is working her fucking life away. At least that's what she says. For all we know she's having threesomes with Crystal and Ruan in the FHM office. 

3) Fabi is floating around in the ocean somewhere. She developed a lozenge-and-tea addiction after playing too many games and getting carried away at a karaoke party with a fucked throat.

Anyways back to THE PARRRTTAYYY! So it's called Wrestlemania and it's at LIQUID NIGHTCLUB which is obviously going to be a jol. One of the main reasons you should come is to see SEXY EYES in person.  If you've never witnessed the fitness that is SEXY EYES here's a little taster for you. 

Noooo where did they go! 

Ahhh there they are! <3 

WRESTLEMANIA is a line-up of sideprojects which includes:

1. SEXY EYES!!!

2. GATEWAY DRUGS (Beach Party)

designed by Dagger himself who also designed the poster for the event.

3. DESERT_HEΔD (Christian Tiger School)

4. JAKOBSNAKE (Voice Tag/B-team)

5. OX ++ (Beatenberg)

6. SLABOFMISUSE

If you come, we will make a promise that this will never happen again:

Or this:

Basically the only event more important than this is the JUSTIN BIEBER concert but most of you are probably not going because you are losers. Sorry for being so mean today, just feeling a bit of post-Gaga depression. 

Also we are all trying to hook up at the moment so GET WITH US, but if you don't have 3 passports or more FUCK OFF. 

If none of this made any sense to you, don't worry: GETTING THROUGH THIS POST COULD GET YOU TO THE PARTY FOR FREE.
Yep.
We have 2 tickets to give away. Just share this post, tag the WRESTLEMANIA event or one of us and tell us what you think is the second best thing about the event after Nic's eyes.

Still Life with Crack Cocaine and Musical Instruments

Everyone knows that Angelina Jolie, Winona Ryder and Brittany Murphy are the best collection of women (people) since Botticelli's Three Graces. Seeing as The Williams are so fucking full of themselves we (Fabi) decided that we had to figure out which Williams bitch is which celeb. Also don’t think we’re being self deprecating just to look cool, we’re just being refreshingly honest like Lipton Green Ice Tea as per usual. If people were wondering what our vibe is, these girls are obviously our vibe. We’ll investigate this further in the post which will obviously be cramped with pseudo-substantial statements.

So who’s who? We posed the question to our close

Internet friends and family and they had some interesting suggestions, but

obviously only Marianna really knew what was going on because she’s from Mossel Bay.

Don’t read too much into this because we are blogging while drinking Long Island ice teas and that’s not really respectable behaviour but whatevers.

Here’s what our friends and foes had to say. Some

comments are more relevant than others…

Jana's "new" boob vibe, maybe/Fabi's slutty vibe ('cause she totally has one).

Happy/drunk Ane.

Fabi learning to play musical instruments in Fairmoint.

Jana on crack in London.

Fabi on her birthday at Kimberley/Jana starving at Bainskloof/Ane listening to Lana Del Rey.

Liberal Jana hanging out with black girls only.

Inappropriate caption.

Fabi in black/lipstick, looking for/at God.

Jana popping pills.

Girl trying to touch Fabi's boob, also in Kimberley (she basically lives there).

That one time when Fabi lost ALL her shit and had to call Tyler from the pay phone outside Nando's.

Ane's fashion vibe.

Fabi's Satan vibe.

Jana trying to be black again (embarrassing).

No one really cares about Jana in her crazy serious exam mode (writing machine).

Jana/Ane photoboothing.

Fabi cracking out/irritating people.

Silent/uninvolved Fabi.

Chats in the club.

"Us learning musical instruments. Also, it is now obvious that you are Winona" - Ane

Ane pretending to smoke when she's in the club.

Fabi/Jana high on art crack.

Fabi and death vibe.

Jana out of control.

Jana.

Ane and Fabi like watching 7de Laan card games vibes in the club.

Ane reading juice recipe books.

Jana and Lady Gaga.

Pot kettle black.

Some girls want to date boys, but all the boys in Cape Town are gay so this makes things frustrating. So sometimes girls can't help but snap!